The past 100 days have been some of the roughest of our lives. I’ve been through my fair share of jacked up things, but not my kids! Until now at least. Some of you may have read that 100 days ago my stepfather was detained by ICE. It’s as if he just disappeared, even though we know where he is, for now. It’s been traumatizing for my children and mentally stressful for the rest of us.
Initially we thought he would be released after serving his 90 days, but they’ve continued to detain him. It’s cruel and heartbreaking. My kids have dreams that turn into nightmares e v e r y s i n g l e w e e k! They dream that grandpa is back but then they wake up and it’s all a dream. They cry hard, not just “I’m so sad” cry, but hard, body rocking, throat punching, head hurts cry! It’s not fair and I don’t know how to protect my children from this cruel world!
We pray hard, we talk about not losing hope and holding strong to our faith, but it’s becoming increasingly harder and harder. We have been keeping things as normal as possible, but no matter what, the hole in our hearts is there.
I feel horrible not being able to help my dad, my stepfather has been in my life since before I even started school. He’s not perfect but who is?! We all miss him, especially my mom and kids and they need him back already. Not only has it been a struggle to keep myself out of a dark depression but I’m fighting for my children’s mental health as well.
I talk to them very openly and honestly, maybe some would say to much. But it’s important that they understand the world is a cruel place who does no one any favors. It breaks my heart every time I see them cry or ask again about grandpa. I don’t know how much longer we can take of this even though we are free. What about my dad who has had his freedom taken away? He never missed an appointment, never did anything to deserve this. And now we just wait, at the mercy of God knows who, because no one returns our calls.
If you’re reading this, may I ask you to please pray for my children, for my mom and most importantly for my dad.
You have my prayers since I found out about this, Janeth! I know this world is a cruel one and when we realize our children have to face this reality, it hurts even more. They do not deserve this and should not have to live through any of this craziness around us. But this is the world we live in and we have to prepare our little people. I know you are teaching them that through it all, they are to keep their faith in God and their integrity intact no matter what.
Praying with you , sister!